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i found this :) [30 Jan 2008|09:12pm]
i made one after this one.. which has my life basically after freshman year
but who knows where that is.
'cuz i i sure don't!
but, i'm making a new account
because i still don't like this name :)
soooo, i'm not really informing anybody here
because no one ever really looks


oh, it's jaybaybayy.
in case i ever forget.
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[12 Jan 2005|12:50pm]





28 comments|post comment

[19 Dec 2004|01:20pm]
fuck livejournal.
2 comments|post comment

[16 Nov 2004|09:48pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]

so what is this place. You know the place people talk about in movies and books.. the "real" world where everyone is real and all problems are real.. all that. What is it and where is it. I haven't seen it everyone seems pretty fake to me. They come home and talk to their little friends who they would betray in a second if it was in their benefit. They cause meaningless drama for attention that no one feels like giving unless they want attention also. People are way too uptight and take things way too seriously. Who cares if someone called you a slut or looked at you the wrong fucking way. I'm starting to get tired with the world and as it sits. I feel like i should jsut stop trying to be myself and fall in line with everyine else because there seems to be no one else out there that's just as sick.

fuck this.

8 comments|post comment

[12 Nov 2004|03:26pm]
all is good in the hood
3 comments|post comment

it's just a flesh wound. [05 Oct 2004|07:05pm]
[ mood | like i want to kill someone ]

lovers are liars.. especially mine.. or the one that was mine

i was always so good to him.

i mean, people are going to cheat and lie. but, do they have to be complete assholes. like, one time he called me (it had been almost a week since i got to talk to him.. he ignored me like crazy) from his friends house.. and i was happy and upset at the same time to talk to him. But, someone who's known you for that long knows how to push your buttons and make you cry. that's exactly what he did. He pushed me and pushed me (for no real reason) until i cried.. and then it was like he was satisfied. at school the next day his friend told me i was on speaker phone. the whole time. whatever.

why do you have to pick at all my insecurities? I confided in you because i thought you were the one that was there for me?

i have nobody. i have no one at all.

4 comments|post comment

[27 Sep 2004|03:50pm]
[ mood | bored ]

"Things arent the way I want them yet, but they are not that bad anymore. I can deal with it."
... I don't want to though

1 comment|post comment

These are the times when i'm so happy i have JIMMY... [25 Sep 2004|01:08pm]
[ mood | worried ]

is this the part of the relationship where we work things out, or drift apart?

i hope things work out..

i've forgotten what things where like being alone.. i don't think i want to remember either.

i want to go back to him making me feel like i'm his g/f and not some chick that u can do things with.

i want him to do somthing sweet that shows he still cares so i wont worry every fuckin minute and actually be happy when i would think of him and our relationship instead of sighing and trying to think of somthing else.

i miss when i would miss him and smile when i held his teddy bear. i miss whenever the phone would ring i'd hope it was him and look at the caller id and see his name and smile when i answered. i miss when we would kiss and it would lead to other things. i miss when nobody was placed above me and he would do anything as long as i would smile and love him. I miss the man i fell in love with. i don't like this hardcore gangster who smokes all the time. it's so nasty. I just want him to hold me the way he did.....

i hope he enjoyed the little things as much as i did, and still does.......

3 comments|post comment

sexuhh mannn [20 Sep 2004|08:56pm]


yeah well i've noticed that last week i posted nothing but bad old and not so good looking pix... i'm going to continue doing that in this post


pictures from last year....Collapse )

2 comments|post comment

PICTURRRRRRREES [16 Sep 2004|04:33pm]

pix on the other camCollapse )

3 comments|post comment

new pix [12 Sep 2004|08:00pm]

they're not new but uhaven't seen them so here they are.



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first day of school.. [07 Sep 2004|08:34pm]
[ mood | tired ]

yayyyyyy. some people i knew from when i lived in my old house :) and some people from 8th grade. so i have friends. good :) cheerleading is going super sweet. say hello to your captain. FRESHEST FRESHMAN. haha.

2 comments|post comment

[21 Aug 2004|06:07pm]
yeah so like.. i'm fucking home.

and now i leave again in 2 days.ha. yeah.

sha'll be fun cuz i'm rooming with this chicky that's some kindof fun. ha.

but yeah i went to the beach where ya know ur suppose to meet NEW ppl but i kept seeing ppl i already knew. like matt and jimmy. ha. and then nancy's two neighbors went there. though i did meet new ppl. i did i did.

was fun but i'm soooooo broke i went there with aboout 200 almost and came back with.. $5. argh.

and the weather sucks here sooooo baaaad compared to the nice beachy stuff ya know?

but yeah w/e. :-).

RACHEL R. SAID SHE WAS GOING TO KILL MEEEE!!!... oh no....HA. <333<33<3<3<3

i have a cool lighter >:-). it's a tricky one at that.
9 comments|post comment

hahahahahahaha. [14 Aug 2004|02:14am]
[ mood | calm ]

i'm leaving today. ha.

this little girl got boredCollapse )

7 comments|post comment

[13 Aug 2004|07:35pm]
[ mood | devious ]




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the past couple days have had no ups. [12 Aug 2004|09:42pm]
[ mood | shitty ]

if i force out another laugh i thing i'm going to hack up blood.

damned boys. ha. why couldn't my mom just let me watch those war movies like i wanted. instead of those cute lovey movies that make me jealous. ha.

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it gets harder and harder to smile through this [11 Aug 2004|08:54pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

i'm not in the mood for too much typing but.. i thought i'd update you guys on why i've been so bitchy. JUst so you guys won't hate me forever.

But.. my brother got kicked out of the house today because my parents found his "stash". He has absolutley no clue where he's going to stay he has no actual home right now and pisses the fuck  out of me that they just kick him out like they did. I'm going to miss him so much i know i will. He would do the crazuest stupidest things to make me smile when i needed to and he was one of my favorite people to talk to. Eventhough we had our fights and arguements.. that's normal for a brother ans sister to do. but yeah..

also rumors got respread about this one subjuect that REALLY got to me one time and it made me think the one of the most important person to me had lied and all. but in the end it's all about trust, ad i figured why believe rumors over someome who means os much. maybe i'm letting it go? maybe i'm picking the right choice? idk. sucks being nice sometimes.

and ha. the least of it all. my cell phone got stolen by the mailman and my parents won;t replace it. and it pisses the fuck out of me cuz that mail shit has no use for it since it's dead smomewhat broken and they have no charger.


anyway. i truly hate this post. enjoy.

1 comment|post comment

[08 Aug 2004|10:48pm]
[ mood | tired ]

it wasn't what i expected

at all .. but i can't say i was disappointed

i guess i just didn't like it much. idk.


forget it.. this post has no meaning.

3 comments|post comment

[06 Aug 2004|01:42pm]
What Kind of Sex Will You Die While Having?
by delia43
Date of deathMarch 12, 2004
Age at death62
Type of sex you die duringwith the secretary (sshhh!)
Does your story get into the newspaper?Yes
How much inheritance your children get$92,083,779
Quiz created with MemeGen!
2 comments|post comment

[03 Aug 2004|05:40pm]
ya so i think i'm going to leave live journal and move to myspace

i've already started making it
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